Thursday, July 10, 2008

Holy crap! I have lost my capacity to discern the passage of time

Today I realized that it is nearly the middle of July. How could this have happened? Is it already July? July, 2008? July 10, 2008 A.D.?

Yes, I know it is July. I’ve known that for at least a week. In fact I signed several documents this week that required me to write down the current date. But the authenticity of it all did not hit me until today and frankly I am stunned and bewildered.
I have been here for almost four months and for some reason I am having great difficulty believing it. Although in some respects, I feel as if I have been on this tiny island for quite a while, for the most part I still feel as if I have only been here for a few days, at most a week or two.

This realization occurred during a call to the Guam Army National Guard Public Affairs Office. I was calling to schedule an appearance by the color guard for War In the Pacific NHP’s 30th Anniversary (or birthday) next month. We are planning a major event to commemorate this milestone. Many important locals such as the Governor, Congresswoman and NPS people, such as the Regional Director, are coming from the mainland for this occasion. Needless to say, the closer we get to August, the more stressful it has become at work. To be completely frank, we are woefully unprepared for this event. But I digress…

So, after nearly an hour being passed around from one National Guard officer to the next, I finally reached an officer that attempted to help me. But even he could not compete against the astounding level of bureaucratic incompetence that saturates all government entity that exists on Guam. Once again I was placed on hold. Then suddenly music came on over the phone, music that I had not heard in over a dozen years. I kid you not, it was the theme song from the 1980s cartoon “Inspector Gadget.”

“Da-Da-Da-Da-Da Inspector Gadget! Da-Da-Da-Da-Da DA-DAAAA…”

I nearly dropped the phone. “What the…,” I mumbled as I tried to understand why this song was playing. The entire song played through and then to my continued amazement started over from the beginning.

I can guess what you are thinking – who cares what song is playing while you were on hold. Normally you would be right, but as the song played over and over and over, I started to day dream and soon fell into a deep trance-like state.

“Da-Da-Da-Da-Da Inspector Gadget! Da-Da-Da-Da-Da DA-DAAAA…”

Moments of my life began to unfold in my mind. I immediately remembered watching Inspector Gadget on my family’s ancient turn dial television set. Other moments flashed by until I was remembering last summer working at Stones River Battlefield. I was there a year ago, but it seems like only last week.

“Go, Gadget, Go! DA-DAAAA…”

At this same time last year my stint at Stones River was already half over. The surreal experience continued as I remembered working at Manzanar.

I wondered to myself, wait – something’s happening. Where am I?

A moment ticked by as I tried to abruptly shift back to reality. “Hello… is anyone there?” the voice on the phone asked again.

Oh yeah, I’m on hold. How long have I been on hold?

I almost asked the voice to turn back on the music.

After I got off the phone, again unable to find anyone who could help me, I began to realize how quickly not just the last four months had gone by, but the last year.

I know time flies, but today time gave me a round-house kick to the face. I can’t believe it’s already July. Maybe I’m just getting old.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

hmm.. so not to blog on your blog there Benji, but I have several comments for you. #1- I can't honestly believe that they had the inspector gadget song on.. I may have to call them for proof. That's AWESOME! Although, if you really think about it, it could have been someone's attempt to be witty and mock the ineptitude of the military's administration- do you remember how none of his gadgets ever worked correctly?? "Go-go Gadet hat" and out flies an arm, wacks some lady, breaks a vase. Okay, or gadget arm, whatever, sorry lady.. Maybe it is a statement to all those on the endless mind numbing hold that they are trying their best, but damn it some things are just beyond their control. Can't fight the machine, or something. Probably not, but it seemed like a good thought. :)

Secondly, time IS flying by. I am of the mindset that there is some evil vortex that distorts time unfairly. While we are sitting in our office (or "ranging around" as you do) the vortex causes time to slow, to an almost unbearable crawl, a ticking by of the hours- unless of course we have a deadline which then forces time into hyperdrive. As you attempt to click the send button on that report BAM! you're late, time just shifted 10 mintues! How? Don't ask how, it just happened.Then, when we are off, well who the hell knows what happens then. Time seems to pass at a very rapid rate while we do absolutely nothing. Simply sitting and thinking about what we'd like to do that day somehow takes 4 hours and then it's too late! How does that happen, you ask? The Evil Vortex.. A few select beverages can help slow time, make it more enjoyable- we may even think we have won a small battle.. but then we don't remember it, the next day, another moment lost, so alas, the vortex wins again.. hmmm... a thought for a though mr. goo..